Outside of Valentine’s Day fantasies, however, real love stretches through real time. It grows and endures and strengthens. Occasionally it wilts. Sometimes it dies. Our love affairs are not rhyming lines on pink greeting cards. They are thick dog-eared novels we write to ourselves. - Marcello Di Cintio
I saw this quote and it struck a chord in my heart. Valentines Day is all about romantic love. Yet how many people love someone just for themselves as a person. Romance is about feeling good and joyful. It has ups and downs and is beautiful in many ways as the people overcome all the frustrations, delays and misconceptions about the one we love.
Yet how many people can love someone for themselves just as a person. Some one that matters to them. That we want the best for in their lives?
I feel that way about others all the time and people act like it is strange. Every one is looking for the hidden agenda. How could someone just care for no reason but the fact they think someone is great.
It is because even in the commercials we are taught that a woman only likes a man for sex. I see dating commercials in the United States showing a woman wanting romance. It is a bunch of candles with her and a man she just met trying to have passionate sex.
Romance is not about sex it is about feeling someone is special. Taking the time to do little things for them to show you are thinking of them. Just loving the way they look when they smile. Feeling good and getting to love them as people not men or women.
Romance has become a lost art in most peoples lives. If you have it in your life Valentines day or not you should treasure it.You should write your own novel and keep it in your heart.
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Obstacles and Blockages-Love and Romance
I do not do love spells as I feel they can be curses to both the person who has the love spell done and the one it is cast upon. Yet many people fall in love with others who do not care back. They work very hard to be romantic to a person who does not respond back. They wear themselves out being in love with people that ignore them.
The reason I have found for this is they do not know what love is all about and have their blockages due to experiences in their childhood or young adulthood. Many families in the US do not give affection to each other. The only time any attention is given to the child is when the child misbehaves. Anything good is ignored or just sort of passed over.
People learn just to shut themselves off. They feel it is about them and not about the parents or other people having problems. People who have a childhood where their parents are affectionate and then reject them for no reason have the same troubles. So the person becomes a adult and then deals with others.
A rejected person always picks people who acts like the ones he feels should love him. A family full of people who can not express their love will create a person who seeks desperately for love. Yet that person picks people like his family members for a relationship. The reason for this is the subconscious program that people who love you act like your family.
I know how I was treated consciously and will not consciously pick someone like my family. Yet I saw a pattern in my relationships through out my life. I always pick people who react in certain ways to me which was like my family. I picked the same sort of emotional reactions. I was shocked and decided to consciously work upon the people I always reacted to in my life.
Many people keep this pattern of picking others who are cold and reject them because they feel they have to earn love. Love is not earned or conditional. The person has to feel that for you in the first place or they will never feel it later. Love spells work only if the person is already in love and they intensify the feelings of both people. Yet a person can do magic nonstop and the person will not react or live up to their dreams. The reason for this is the person is not capable of being what the other person wants them to be.
So many of our obstacles and blockages in life come from our expectations of what we want and how we want the other person is to react. It is also our expectations about the way others always treat us no matter what we do. Love is not about expectations nor is it about any of the things we judge people for whether it is money, looks, race, or lust. I saw romance in one of the commercials as sex with a man when that is the end result of romance after they have wooed the person.
It may sound old fashioned but the romance and affection showed the two people whether they were suited for each other or not. Sex and lust only last a year or two at the most. Learning to like and love someone that supplies your emotional needs is for a lifetime. No one is perfect and if you decide to be a partner to a person with emotional or abuse problems it is your choice. The only person that can change them is themselves. Yet many people suffer for years trying to make the person what they want them to be. This is a definite blockage and is not the other persons fault.
So you jump into bed with a hot guy and find out later that he is not capable of loving you the way you need to be loved. It creates actions and reactions which teach both people a lesson. Yet it is an obstacle if you keep picking the exact type of person that has always made you unhappy. Most people do this and you hear them complain about women or men. They always act the same way and other such statements like the other sex is an alien race. Books have been written on this also. Yet the main thing done wrong is not communicating and liking the other sex.
You can love men and sex with men. Yet on a basic level you do not like them or their habits. You make it so the man or woman is not a person to you that you like but a necessity to get sex, money, romance or love. Yet if you can love them as a person and partner then you get everything that you expect and want in your life. People expect to get divorced instead of working on their marriage and be giving and kind. So how do you correct these problems?
The way to make it so you do not keep repeating this mistake is to do loving kindness or Metta meditation. Take time to send a mental hug or kindness to a person you care for each day. They will blossom with out knowing the reason. You should also give yourself a hug a day and pray for a good day in which ever way you believe in the divine. Learn to be fair and instead of making others live up to your expectations try to learn to put yourself in the other persons shoes. You will learn how to treat people better by doing this and real love is also caring about the other persons needs and making things better for them.
Sending love to ourselves will heal many problems and makes it possible for us to love others. The next thing is to realize that our own subconscious may betray us and to work upon our expectations and what we want. I always feel finding a man you love is better than a bunch of qualifications which do not mean a thing for future happiness. Romance and time helps you to find a person who responds to you and thinks of your needs also.
It gives you a chance to not make the mistakes in judgment that you could make otherwise. If someone does not give you love and kindness back think about being around them even if you love them. It may be your subconscious reactions getting you in trouble with the world.
The reason I have found for this is they do not know what love is all about and have their blockages due to experiences in their childhood or young adulthood. Many families in the US do not give affection to each other. The only time any attention is given to the child is when the child misbehaves. Anything good is ignored or just sort of passed over.
People learn just to shut themselves off. They feel it is about them and not about the parents or other people having problems. People who have a childhood where their parents are affectionate and then reject them for no reason have the same troubles. So the person becomes a adult and then deals with others.
A rejected person always picks people who acts like the ones he feels should love him. A family full of people who can not express their love will create a person who seeks desperately for love. Yet that person picks people like his family members for a relationship. The reason for this is the subconscious program that people who love you act like your family.
I know how I was treated consciously and will not consciously pick someone like my family. Yet I saw a pattern in my relationships through out my life. I always pick people who react in certain ways to me which was like my family. I picked the same sort of emotional reactions. I was shocked and decided to consciously work upon the people I always reacted to in my life.
Many people keep this pattern of picking others who are cold and reject them because they feel they have to earn love. Love is not earned or conditional. The person has to feel that for you in the first place or they will never feel it later. Love spells work only if the person is already in love and they intensify the feelings of both people. Yet a person can do magic nonstop and the person will not react or live up to their dreams. The reason for this is the person is not capable of being what the other person wants them to be.
So many of our obstacles and blockages in life come from our expectations of what we want and how we want the other person is to react. It is also our expectations about the way others always treat us no matter what we do. Love is not about expectations nor is it about any of the things we judge people for whether it is money, looks, race, or lust. I saw romance in one of the commercials as sex with a man when that is the end result of romance after they have wooed the person.
It may sound old fashioned but the romance and affection showed the two people whether they were suited for each other or not. Sex and lust only last a year or two at the most. Learning to like and love someone that supplies your emotional needs is for a lifetime. No one is perfect and if you decide to be a partner to a person with emotional or abuse problems it is your choice. The only person that can change them is themselves. Yet many people suffer for years trying to make the person what they want them to be. This is a definite blockage and is not the other persons fault.
So you jump into bed with a hot guy and find out later that he is not capable of loving you the way you need to be loved. It creates actions and reactions which teach both people a lesson. Yet it is an obstacle if you keep picking the exact type of person that has always made you unhappy. Most people do this and you hear them complain about women or men. They always act the same way and other such statements like the other sex is an alien race. Books have been written on this also. Yet the main thing done wrong is not communicating and liking the other sex.
You can love men and sex with men. Yet on a basic level you do not like them or their habits. You make it so the man or woman is not a person to you that you like but a necessity to get sex, money, romance or love. Yet if you can love them as a person and partner then you get everything that you expect and want in your life. People expect to get divorced instead of working on their marriage and be giving and kind. So how do you correct these problems?
The way to make it so you do not keep repeating this mistake is to do loving kindness or Metta meditation. Take time to send a mental hug or kindness to a person you care for each day. They will blossom with out knowing the reason. You should also give yourself a hug a day and pray for a good day in which ever way you believe in the divine. Learn to be fair and instead of making others live up to your expectations try to learn to put yourself in the other persons shoes. You will learn how to treat people better by doing this and real love is also caring about the other persons needs and making things better for them.
Sending love to ourselves will heal many problems and makes it possible for us to love others. The next thing is to realize that our own subconscious may betray us and to work upon our expectations and what we want. I always feel finding a man you love is better than a bunch of qualifications which do not mean a thing for future happiness. Romance and time helps you to find a person who responds to you and thinks of your needs also.
It gives you a chance to not make the mistakes in judgment that you could make otherwise. If someone does not give you love and kindness back think about being around them even if you love them. It may be your subconscious reactions getting you in trouble with the world.
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