Gossip, Bad words, and Hurting Others

"If those bad words come, I let them come in one ear and go out the other. I never let them come out of my mouth. If a bad word comes in your ear and then comes out of your mouth, it will go someplace and hurt somebody. If I did that, that hurt would come back twice as hard on me."

-- Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA  I wonder if anyone keeps track of how many times they say something that could hurt someone? I know everyone will repeat things about others both good and bad. Yet even saying good things can cause problems. Some times it is just like some bad word going into your ear and coming out your mouth. You can even watch yourself say something and wonder why you are doing it. Everyone also says things that can hurt others. No one is innocent of this form of harm and gossip. The Jewish religion calls it Loshon Hara and it is one of the forbidden things to do to others. You are not supposed to use words to hurt or harm others even if the facts are true. It is so common there are children rhymes to make it easier to take. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." It may sound good but it is very untrue. People judging others, and treating others badly hurts. The words can cause problems especially with making the things said more dramatic. Gossip does hurt others. People seem to stick together in groups. We also put others into groups. We do not see others as real people instead it is seeing ourselves as separate. The groups can be anything. Yet once something is classified as outside of the group and separate then it is when danger can happen to anything not in the group. We have examples through out history of people picking scapegoats and making them a bad example or using them to get everyone to do violence or that cause group problems. Helen of Troy had problems for being beautiful. The Japanese were interned in camps because they could be identified as separate. The color of the skin has been used by every race to say bad things and make others different. Beer commercials make it sound as if the beer is more understanding than the women of the world. A scapegoat used to be the goat sacrificed to appease everyone. In King Kong the actress sacrificed to King Kong was a scapegoat. Anyone that stands up and takes the hit for the group he is a member of is a scapegoat. Many people in jobs can not feel good about themselves unless they pick an office scapegoat to feel superior over. So it is more on the same subject of how we treat our fellow man. Responsibility is the one of the ways to resolve these issues and competing with ourselves. It is not easy to do. Yet in the end it comes down to one thing. We can watch our own actions and hope that good manners become contagious.We can watch ourselves and not do the bad actions that have harmed us.

Magical Groups-scapegoats and control freaks

A classic magical group ploy is to scapegoat others for your actions. It means that if you find a good group that one control freak is enough to cause problems. Control freaks happen because of ego and their wanting to seem the best. They normally have multiple problems and big egos.

Every time I see a person who scapegoats others. They will also blame them for the problems they created. A psychic vampire will blame it on anyone else to make it look like they are not draining others. I always believe that anyone in magic should have to live in truth and look at themselves. Yet these people do not want to accept responsibility except when they sound good to others.

The problem is what do the people who are not involved believe? The person doing the scapegoating is better at manipulating others, and lying about their actions. They try to get others mad where they stomp off and quit. There are as many different ploys to harm others as there are people.

I normally run into people intimidated by me and what I do. I do not care if I am a student or someone important but they do. So they just drift away where they can be the big fish in the small pond. It happens in any magical group and High Priestesses are just as guilty of it as the Ceremonial Magician who is sulking because the woman magician is better than he is at magic.

The best thing to do is to just be honest and truthful. If someone else is manipulating and trying to cause problems it is hard to stay calm. Especially if they are creating high drama with multiple lies and tall tales. If someone is doing this then realize that they are not competent magicians or they could be appreciated for their talents and kind nature. Instead they have to treat others badly.

So what do you do if you are in a group and someone asks you for help. They are being victimized by another person who is manipulating their energy fields, and draining them dry of energy. The first thing is to deal with the person as a force. Say anything that drains Lady Sparrowhawk that is harmful to her I banish forever.

So you see what effects this has and the person always shows up and has to be an utter drama queen. You should always give the psychic vampire a chance. Ask them if they are having problems with others. Let them know that you noticed energies around them do they need help to clear them.

If they start playing the blame game it will be on their victims and the people they can not control. So the main responsibility in a group is to deal with it so the group does not break up into different small groups all mad at each other. If someone wants to gossip about someone else do not listen. Do not say anything bad about another unless you are problem solving. It means that the words do not leave the room. The person with problems in their lives always blaming something else whether it be a student or a leader is a person to watch.

This is the behavior that causes groups to dissolve and it is normally because of someone wanting their own way, harming others, manipulating others or having to be in control. It can be applied to every area of life. It also shows an ability to rationalize, and harm others. A person like this is the first to try to harm others and say it was their fault.

In magic they try to use NLP, and other techniques upon people so finding a group that is perfect is impossible. Yet if you are in a group that scapegoats others -run do not walk away from it. If the teacher uses the students as batteries, and has servitors no one in their right mind would think of as of the divine. Run.

A good group will socialize with others. If people of like mind come together that is great. If they do not get along then the one group can work by themselves, and no one else has to work with them. Freedom of choice, good ethics, and teachers who care and do not manipulate their students are the groups to join.

Be Safe While Being Yourself

I have times where I am so busy I do not find inspiration on what to write in a blog. Today a message made me think about how people treat others. The common denominator in all mass murders of racial groups has also been religion, sexual orientation and race. The Holocaust and the Jews, Gypsies, Gays, and Christians that were slaughtered by Hitler. The conflict in Bosnia and other places where it was Christians and Muslims. The conflicts between the Muslims and the Kurds. The Witch Burnings.The list could go on forever as the Muslims in India were actually conquered people forced to be Muslims. The Japanese also killed Christians that would not leave their country centuries ago.

So what religions cause this conflict while professing to be doing everything for God. You see a pattern over the years where you can say "Wow this religion is everywhere in all of those battles". You then see the ones that are active religions trying to weed out everyone that is not of that religion and forcing them to convert. It is that or be killed or abused.

The main ways this is done is by picking scapegoats to blame everything upon and put the force of religion behind doing this so it is acceptable. It is acceptable to preach at everyone and speak badly of them if you are of a certain religion and decide everyone has to follow that religions rules. In many places killing the person is acceptable when the person is found out. Yet the scapegoats are only being used to hide issues that the people are not supposed to know. If anyone reads or watches the History channel you can see the scapegoats screaming over the centuries.

I have heard in recent years of many abuses. Gays being beheaded, women who marry someone of a different religion being stoned to death are the most dramatic. Yet how many people think of supposedly civilized countries and how they treat people differently. The message of picking a scapegoat or person to blame is widespread to the point of being ridiculous.

It means that everyone who is different and who is honest and truthful about themselves has a chance of being a scapegoat and being abused. It is acceptable to do this and it crosses racial barriers of every kind. I have met blacks who hated whites more than any whites I know of hated them. I see people who do not do their work properly finding it acceptable to make someone else to blame for it and think they did the right thing. I have seen gay males who never had sex with a woman hate women.

On the other side I see Christians who hate others while professing how they are right. God and Christ are supposed to be deities of love. Muslims who feel blowing up innocents is right to do. Shoving religions down someones throat as if they had not heard about the religion. CNN had a recent report about people being disillusioned about their religions and leaving them. It goes across all levels of society.

It all boils down to the people who are religious being focused on themselves and what they want to have happen. It is about me, I, and I am more important than these other people. Religion adds in the God loves me and would not want the world to have XYZ or by what ever name deity is called by the person. It is being sure that you are right and everyone else is wrong. It is being judgemental and manipulative. It is normally sugar coated with the it is the will of God, God spoke against this or some other factor when religion is added into it so even God wants you to do this scapegoating to others.

I find this an abomination of how to treat others. Yet I know I am not more important nor am I going to judge and manipulate things to harm others. Yet anyone who is different in this world has to consider a few things. Am I shoving this down others throats or just being myself? Do I accept others judgements of me?

Being to far on the other side inflames the people who can not stand to see someone or something different. It can make you as bad as them if you scapegoat them back over the issue. It is finding a balance in how you can be yourself and not making everyone else suffer over being different. I wonder what this world would be like if everyone liked, loved and accepted the differences with out having to be right.

It can also make it so the person who is different is abused, killed, stripped of their children and many other things done by society to those who do not conform to their rules. I watch myself and try to do better each time I make a mistake. I am not politically correct which is just another way to make people different. I do like people and I do not scapegoat anyone.

If someone is different and you do not care for them as a person that is one thing. You gave them a chance as a person. They were given the chance to be someone you liked or disliked with out sex, race, sexual orientation, religion or anything else added into it. It is not about you, what you think, whether you are right or what you feel they should be. It is about whether you like them as a person.

It is what everyone should strive for seeing each other as individual people and enjoying the difference.