Gossip, Bad words, and Hurting Others

"If those bad words come, I let them come in one ear and go out the other. I never let them come out of my mouth. If a bad word comes in your ear and then comes out of your mouth, it will go someplace and hurt somebody. If I did that, that hurt would come back twice as hard on me."

-- Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA  I wonder if anyone keeps track of how many times they say something that could hurt someone? I know everyone will repeat things about others both good and bad. Yet even saying good things can cause problems. Some times it is just like some bad word going into your ear and coming out your mouth. You can even watch yourself say something and wonder why you are doing it. Everyone also says things that can hurt others. No one is innocent of this form of harm and gossip. The Jewish religion calls it Loshon Hara and it is one of the forbidden things to do to others. You are not supposed to use words to hurt or harm others even if the facts are true. It is so common there are children rhymes to make it easier to take. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." It may sound good but it is very untrue. People judging others, and treating others badly hurts. The words can cause problems especially with making the things said more dramatic. Gossip does hurt others. People seem to stick together in groups. We also put others into groups. We do not see others as real people instead it is seeing ourselves as separate. The groups can be anything. Yet once something is classified as outside of the group and separate then it is when danger can happen to anything not in the group. We have examples through out history of people picking scapegoats and making them a bad example or using them to get everyone to do violence or that cause group problems. Helen of Troy had problems for being beautiful. The Japanese were interned in camps because they could be identified as separate. The color of the skin has been used by every race to say bad things and make others different. Beer commercials make it sound as if the beer is more understanding than the women of the world. A scapegoat used to be the goat sacrificed to appease everyone. In King Kong the actress sacrificed to King Kong was a scapegoat. Anyone that stands up and takes the hit for the group he is a member of is a scapegoat. Many people in jobs can not feel good about themselves unless they pick an office scapegoat to feel superior over. So it is more on the same subject of how we treat our fellow man. Responsibility is the one of the ways to resolve these issues and competing with ourselves. It is not easy to do. Yet in the end it comes down to one thing. We can watch our own actions and hope that good manners become contagious.We can watch ourselves and not do the bad actions that have harmed us.

No group is worth joining that requires sex as part of the ritual

I had this article pointed out to me on Facebook.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5hoSPjYdbdegaHhvt277eSbpPFrnA?docId=N0622381297180295855A

It happened in the UK but it could happen anywhere in the world. People will show it as part of the problems with magical groups. Yet this has happened in Christian groups. Mormon groups, and in every religion in the world. Is it right in any way-no. I have always believed that we can not impose our views upon other cultures where they have different cultural standards. In many countries marriage is done before the person matures. Yet these are cultural standards.

No group of any sort should allow sex to be used as a threat or abuse teenagers. The reason for this is remember how you used to be when you were young. I know when I was young I was naive and did not know a great many of the things about life that I have learned since then. I was a teenager during the 60's and 70's which gives away my age. Yet during that time there was a great deal of experimentation with sex and how we perceive it.

I was young and ran into a number of people who were trying to take advantage of young girls and claim it was necessary for rituals. They always wanted the girls to do naked ceremonies with them. I can say right now no one invites a 58 year old to sky clad ceremonies. Gravity has already done its work :-). It was done to take advantage of the young boys and girls.

Predators come in many shapes and the bias against magical groups adds in with the excitement of doing something forbidden. The predators out there play on these teenage themes and take advantage of the teenagers. They then threaten to kill them or harm them if they talk to anyone.

Public outcry tries to take it out on people who practice the occult and magic. They say it is just them but that is not true. In the headlines have been a number of groups that do this practice and the group leader has many wives. It makes you wonder how it happens as no woman should put up with a man who does this to anyone.

The main thing is teenagers should be warned about this and realize that in no way should they agree to anything like this. No group requires it and no legitimate group will accept any one under the age of 18 most legitimate groups wait until the person is 21.

The reason for this is magic is better done when the person is balanced and focused. They want people who understand it is a lifelong path that is about improving the mind, body, and soul. It is not about threats, abuse, or sex. They want older people who understand that their personal choices all have repercussions.

It should be the same for any cult or splinter group of any religion. I hear these horror tales all of the time. I knew some people who were members of Sai Baba's group. They asked me if I had tried worshipping him and talked about him as if he was God. I said I did not like what I heard about his actions. They defended him and I found out that they let him have sex with their 13 year old daughter when they were in India at his Ashram. I could not believe they could defend him. The words of the parents condemned him and them more than any jury could have. How could they not protect their daughter?

I have talked to people who learned shamanism and they joked about one medicine man having the fastest zipper on the reservation. All of these people who can not control themselves or respect others are not true leaders. No one should compare them with the serious people who are working upon themselves.

They like everything else in this world get more press for doing wrong than the many people get who are doing right. Everyone should protect our children as they are the hope of the future. Defend and protect our children even if they do not know how to protect themselves.

Toxic Groups and Traveling

I will be traveling to a case from the 29th to August 8th so my posts may be farther apart. I wanted to talk about the signs of a toxic group. Many people get on the internet to make friends and just talk with people. There are many special interest groups that help foster these discussions.

Yet there are also many toxic groups in the area of magic, and spirituality. They have the marks of being a cult, and are into control over others. I plan to mention the different things I have found in toxic groups. A group may have one or two of these signs and it is a good experience being a member. Four of these signs or over four will be something where you should not join them and avoid them at all costs.

1. Control-does the leader demand obedience and treat people poorly. Does he do what he tells others to do. I know one of the worse groups I was in the leader always said to do what he said not what he did.

2. How are members treated? Does a higher rank or status in the organization mean that people are allowed to be abusive? Is the rank considered a sign of work upon themselves or just a way to bully people.

3. Does the group believe in an apocalyptic shift of energies, an end time date, or have a us against them attitude? Are compounds isolated, members watched, and other aspects of a cult where the members are controlled in every way. Run, do not walk away from any group that does this to others.

4.Do they come down on others for mistakes but never admit to their own mistakes? If they do admit to them how do they act about them. Are they too serious about themselves and others.

5. Are they angry, stressed, upset or just negative in their attitudes about life. Are they working to overcome these problems or is it just accepted as part of the group.

6.Do they make fun of other traditions and methods. A certain amount of this in learning a method is normal-like it makes use of shamanism what is the rest of this all about. Yet trying to understand a method that seems valid is different than saying that it is impossible.

7. Do they force everyone on the same path with out any allowance for differences and variations in peoples energy systems and talents.

8. Do they talk at their students or to them. Do they brag all the time and never keep their mouth shut. Do you have to hear them put down everyone but themselves.

9. Do they help their fellow members and trust their members enough to ask for help from them. Do the members feel they are part of a big family that accepts them. Or a dysfunctional family that abuses them.

10. The last is one thing that should send any woman running for cover. How are women treated or accepted. I had one group leader who felt he had a right to try to have sex with every woman that joined that fitted his standards of beauty. He actually put love spells on the students while saying it was a demonstration. Some traditions have sex and nudity mentioned right at the beginning where people can decide what they want to do. If it is not required then do not expect to be treated properly if you turn the leader down and want to learn.

Any woman has to be a judge of whether this is normal attraction or not. Yet the leader I am mentioning was married and doing this to everyone. A group that does things this way will show favoritism, and demean others. No woman should join this group.

I know that this will hold true for males who are joining groups. It can also be a lower rank male trying to get to the top the way he feels is easiest. Watch out for any of these actions as the entire group can break apart even if it has potential and promise.

11. If the group leader has hurt students and threatened people in public and it is a spiritual organization leave it. The reason for this is he has not done any work on himself if he acts that badly.

I hope these tips help anyone joining a group. I have seen this happen with yoga groups, magic groups, and many others. Any one joining a magic group should look at the people and ask if you would trust them with your life. If you could depend on them no matter what happened. The reason for this is you will be doing ceremonies and any mistakes they make could endanger your life, and sanity.

Life, magic and friends are to be enjoyed even if they are work. If you are in a group that does not accept or support you then that group is not right for you. Staying will only make it worse. Look for the good groups with people you can trust and accept as people. It will make your experience so much better not putting up with groups hoping that they get better.