I had someone put this message in an email the other day. It really made me think about life. I always like the little snippets or comments that cause me to think or look at things in a different way. To quote the comment:
When you worry about what other people think, it shows you have more confidence in their opinion than you have in your own...
I feel this is very true. I can not count the times I have been upset that others have not perceived me as the person I really am in life. Yet why do I listen to them? I do not feel they are correct and it makes it so it can ruin your self-image by listening. Yet listening to them may also be a solution as you think why would they perceive me that way when I am such a different person. How am I acting that I would be perceived that way.
Introspection can be good for the soul. It can make it so you look at yourself and see reasons why others might misjudge or perceive you in a bad fashion. Did they see you when you were upset or frustrated and make this judgment on just one moment of your personality? It may also be that they know you are not going to play their social games and try to exclude you. Yet why is their opinion important?It is not important unless you believe them.
I had one person who must have felt inferior to me try to find something to humiliate me with while I was visiting. First it was about my table manners. It was a good strategy as where I live is not known for its extra forks and silverware. Sometimes you even have to ask for silverware so I knew I was on shaky ground with my table manners. Yet Emily Post when I checked her did show me I did not have to worry.I allowed this person to make me dread eating and socializing. I was so nervous I had the worse table manners I ever had at any time or social function.Yet why would it matter? It matters because of people judging you and trying to have a social status or caste system so they can feel superior.
Yet the reason this mattered was because I allowed myself to listen to someone who wanted to put me down. I let the person get to me instead of my normal rule of thumb that real people do not need to do things like that to others. At the same time I had eye strain from my sunglasses being broken. One person helped me and I could feel the anger when the table manners person said how dare he touch a white woman. I knew I had caused the person who was nice to be to be fired at that moment. It would not matter what happened or what he did the person making the comment was his boss and a malicious person.
In a real world the kindness of that person should have been rewarded. I have been trying to do something nice for him since that day. I tried to make nice comments but that made it worse so I have done prayers for him to be lucky, happy and safe for a year now. It was not my fault but I feel bad for any problems his being nice caused him.
It was not right or fair. Yet others create their own worlds where they are perfect and superior. They give out these ideas and opinions to make it so others exist in their world and live by their rules. They are always the separate and superior people.They are also the ones who try to judge others where they are special. No one who is socially superior or special needs to do this. I always feel if you are that special then everyone will know it anyway.
I have also seen people make fools of themselves being nice to others. They try to be nice and I always tell them you either are nice or you are not nice. You make bad choices when you push yourself to have others perceive you as nice.It is the real point here trying to make others perceive you as something is not necessary if you are a nice person, or anything else you want them to perceive you as being in your life. If you live in truth then you know what you are and do not need to push it. People who judge others by sex, race, class status are limiting themselves and removing a great deal of excitement from their lives.
So listen to others and see if you are what they say you are. Do you like yourself and feel that they are judging you. If they are and you do not feel what they say is true then do not try to make yourself into something you are not. If they can not like you for yourself then it is their opinion. If you let others opinions influence you so you are not your true self and do not like yourself then what are you really? You are another person who is disconnected from life and does not enjoy being themselves. It is what causes mental illness and many problems.
Love yourself and be yourself. It is not always easy and being different always has been hard. The good part is when you make a friend you keep friends.